Now if we’ve done one proverbial side, why do we have to do the other? I mean don’t they just balance out on their own if you address one? Nope. The mind organizes them as categories and generally will only shift the one area that it’s directed towards. Residual associations can shift, yes, but very often what will happen is it’s not the deeper stuff that shifts.
So on to the feminine. It’s interesting because our relationship to the feminine can shape the way we nurture ourselves and others. So quite often when looking into this area we begin to really heal our relationship to our own avenues of self love. Now interestingly what the common media message in this regard can be is “well I was raised like that and I turned out just fine, so why does it matter?” So that can mean that the client has the idea in their head that those around them were raised similarly and they’re not having issues, so why does the client? Also, perpetuating an existing belief system about how we should act just because it’s already around does not mean it’s a good belief system to have.
It’s fascinating really, because there are so many factors at play. It could be that those sending that message out aren’t aware of what issues they are coping with and how their lives could be made easier. It could be that just due to differing circumstances in people’s lives they manifest beliefs differently. Also the attitude of “shoulding” is something to be aware of. This is a self guilt pattern. That one “should” not be affected in a certain way, or be affected in a certain way. When we are “shoulding” ourselves we’re striving to alter our actions to fit how others believe we should act or feel. This usually pulls us away from our nurturing selves and our gut instincts.
This brings us in line with the feminine. Our gut instincts. Not what one commonly associated to the feminine. Following your gut. Yet ironically, those born in feminine forms are told they can be “intuitive” and “more aware of feelings” which are really just an awareness of the gut feelings in a moment. Whereas the male bodies ones are conditioned to numb feelings more or less and not be sensitive.
Yet the female form is told to selectively ignore their gut in certain ways. Feeling creeped out by a person? Ignore it, you need to be polite. Wanting to get out of this conversation because it makes you uncomfortable and is derogatory towards your gender? You’re being too sensitive, that would be rude. The irony of being expected to feel and anticipate your partners needs better than your own and cater to them before they even know what they need, yet ignore when you are actually uncomfortable.
That will separate a being from their self nurturing pretty quickly. When I have clients whom are wanting to address self care and those requirements this can be the area that we see them shifting.
The approach in this regard is quite similar to the previous avenue. Clarifying what the client wants, releasing the old patterns and putting in the new ones, while re-enforcing them to be active and present. It’s fascinating how the same approach can cultivate such a different impact based off of what area is being addressed.
So what can happen as a client shifts this area and cultivates the associations that they want? It can depend on what they consider to be feminine traits or energies. It could be that their creativity improves, or they better process and express their feelings, it could be being able to love oneself and others more easily. Really it boils down to; they get to become the version of themselves that they want to be. No longer defined by what their body-genitalia-type “should” do or be capable of. That inner conflict gets resolved.
This doesn’t mean you lose your “female-ness” or your hobbies and passions change. You are still inherently you..
A wonderful question would be, who would be if your inner dialogue wasn’t telling you it’s not appropriate to act that way based on your gender?
Interested in finding out? Try the personal growth package for a tiny taste..
Wanna go all in? try the personal overhaul package
Want to know more about why I use the Gender Binary in my practice? I made a video about it!
Thank you for reading! <3